We all know that Rajnikanth is a timeless superstar and his Endhian Robot is arguably, the biggest ever hit in South India. The second most powerful entertainer in Asia, after Jackie Chan, Rajnikanth has proved that he is Mr. Box Office himself. Let us now go to the lighter side of life and enjoy some Rajnikanth jokes. Here is the ever expanding set of Unlimited Maximum Rajnikanth Jokes (along with the contribution comments from our beloved readers) :
1.. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.
2. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. ...He is
pushing the earth down.
3. There is no such thing as evolution, it's just a list of creatures
that Rajini...kanth allowed to live.
4. Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.
5 .Rajnikanth can divide by zero.
6. Rajinikanth can judge a book by it's cover.
7. Rajinikanth can drown a fish.
8. Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin. After deleting files rajni doesnt send them to recycle bin, he sends them to HELL
9. Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays
DVDs.
10. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.
11. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are
today called giraffes.
12. Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald's, and got it.13. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.
14. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until
Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off.
15. Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain.
16. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
17. Rajinikanth can make onions cry.
18. Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes
the element of surprise.
19. Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.
20. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice.
21. Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013.
22. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.
23. Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.
24. Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano.
25. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in
fear.
26. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking,
and he got what he deserved.
27. Rajinikanth can talk about Fight Club.
28. Rajinikanth doesn't breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
29. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives
in Chennai.
30. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.
31. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because
revenge is a dish best served cold.
32. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs
of life there.
33. Rajinikanth doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at the
speed of Rajinikanth.
34. Rajinikanth knows Victoria's secret.35. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it.
36. Rajinikanth can throw the Thackerays out of Mumbai.
37. Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird.
38. Google won't find Rajinikanth because you don't find Rajinikanth;
Rajinikanth finds you.
39. Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars.
40. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.
41. Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good "or else". The
result? Mother Teresa.
42. Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man.
43. Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray.
44. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.
45. Rajinikanth puts the 'laughter' in manslaughter.
46. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.
47. Rajinikanth can handle the truth.
48. Rajinikanth can speak Braille.
49. Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks.
50. Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks.
51. Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.
52. Who do you think taught Voldemort Parseltongue? Rajinikanth did.
53. Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result - He was reduced to a
joke on the internet.
54. Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox
is now eradicated.
55. Rajinikanth's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd,
no one fools Rajanikanth.
56. Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water
with his own rage.
57. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do
it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.
58. Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
59. Rajinikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself
in the back of the head.
60. Rajinikanth can run at speed of light around a tree and screw
himself.
61.Rajinikant can lick his elbows.
62. Rajinikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made
him blink.
63. Rajinikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost.
64. Rajinikant doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
65. Rajinikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds.
66. When you say "no one is perfect", Rajinikant takes this as a
personal insult.
67. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth coulduse to kill you, including the room itself.
68. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the
dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born.
69. The statement "nobody can cheat death", is a personal insult to
Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday.
70. When Rajnikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn't know, he shoots
the bullet and directs it the day he finds out.
71. Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.
72. Rajinikanth knows what women really want.
73. Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth.
74. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that's when the
tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.
75. As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the
alphabet.
76. Rajinikanth collects Honey from his private Moon - HoneyMoon.
77. Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.
78. Rajinikanth doesn't need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from
the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the
earth rotates.
79. Rajinikanth's brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury's.
80. Rajinikanth doesn't shower. He only takes blood baths.
81. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth.
82. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Rajinikanth's fist.
83. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth,
there is no other way.
84. Rajinikanth's every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina
was the result of a morning jog.
85. Rajinikant doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the
other nine faint out of fear.
86. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to
the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered
Rajinikant".
87. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling
cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.
88. Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating
pain, the cobra died.
89. Rajinikanth is a champion in the game "Hide n' seek", as no one can
hide from Rajinikanth.
90. Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs
an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide
the reaction.
91. Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the
world.
92. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet
that Rajinikanth is on.
93. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away
from Rajinikanth.
94. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Rajinikanth.
95.Rajinikanth's first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors.
96. Rajinikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out
of sheer terror.
97. When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world
99. Rajinikanth's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
100. you dont google rajnikanth...u rajnikanth google
101. Rajnikanth's email is gmail@rajnikanth.com
102. The world will not end in 2012, Rajnikanth has bought a computer with a 3 year warranty.
103. Even Ghajni remembers Rajni !!!
104. The day ROBOT was released, Rajnikanth gave Times of India a rating of 4 stars
Some actors set benchmarks in cinema, Rajnikanth sets deskmarks
105. Micheal Jordan to Rajni - I can spin a basketball on my fingers for 2 hrs. Can u? Rajnikanth - How do u think earth spins?
106. Rajnikant.. once wrote his Autobiography - The book is today known as The Guiness Book of World Records!
107. While playing once rajnikanth said "statue" to a girl..now its know as "Statue of Liberty
108. Rajnikanth to buy Facebook, he will be making one change in it, instead of 'like' he will put 'sooper'
109. Rajnikanth once rolled a dice and scored a 7
110. Rajnikanth runs until the Treadmill gets tired
111. Rajnikant got into a fight with Superman. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pant for the rest of his life. ;)
112. Once Dinosaurs borrowed money frm Rajnikanth n refused 2pay him back.. Tat was d last time.After that no one saw Dinosaurs
113. Rajni gives permission to Sachin to score those hundreds..
114. Alfred Noble won RAJNIKANTH award !
115. Rajnikanth can build a snowman..... out of rain.
116. When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on.... he turns the dark off.
117. Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
118. Rajnikant’s codes are never reviewed, if he makes an error, that’s an invention
119. Rajnikanth can write into A READ ONLY FILE
120. Rajnikanth don’t have a Twitter account, Because no one can follow him and he’s already following you
121. Bullets dodge Rajnikanth.
122. If you spell Rajnikanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Rajnikanth?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
123.Rajnikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
124. The square root of Rajnikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajnikanth, the result is death.
125. Rajnikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life unless it gets in his way.
126. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajnikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
127.Rajnikanth laughs at you and your silly jokes about him even before you think them up. So don't bother..
128.One nite, while asleep, Rajnikanth was mumbling some random numbrs... Thats how the Log table was invented.
129. Some actor set benchmarks in cinema, Rajnikanth sets deskmarks
130. If Rajnikanth would have born 100 years back, British would have fought to get independence.
131.Rajnikanth saved the Gal in one hand....titanic in other
132.Every morning rajni goes for spacewalk
132.Rajni is so hot..d cigarette burns before its lit
133.Rajnikanth irons his shirts while he's wearing them.
134. Rajnikanth wrote a check without any bank balance and the bank bounced
135.Only Rajnikanth can smell what the rock is cooking.
136. Intel's new tag line.... RAJNIKANT INSIDE!
137.Once Rajnikanth entered bigg boss...The next day announcement was made... Rajnikanth chahte hai ki bigg boss confession room me aaye..
138.Rajnikanth can cut knife with apple.
139.What does GOD exclaim when he is shocked ? Oh my Rajnikaanth!!!!!
140.Rajnikanth knows who let the dogs out.
141.Nature answers Rajnikanth's call.
142. Once Rajnikanth said to a quite shy girl “plz talk something”..
Now that girl is known as..Dolly Bindra
143.Rajnikanth bought 2 elephants ,2 camels and 2 horses from the zoo Why?To Play chess!!!!!!
144.After 20 years, Robots will make a movie called Rajnikanth
145.And God said,"RUN, Its Rajinikanth" -Exodus 17:8-16
146.When Rajnikant logs on to facebook.com, facebook updates its status message!
147.CAT is OutDated..Now d students have 2 prepapre for RAT.. wondering what it is..?
Rajanikant Aptitude Test..
Also read about how KRK tries to threaten Rajnikanth's position (it's a joke, obviously)
119 comments:
101 is superb
Breaking news... Rajni-Cant
There is nothiing that rajni can't do !!
Rajnikant's email id. gmail@rajnikant.com
from my side...
1.Rajni was the only person in this universe to be born with cloths...
2.rajni breaths CO2.... n give out O2...
ossam dude
awsummmmm . .. relly i mean that . .. roflmfao . .XD
Rajnikanth once bit a wolf. It transforms into a human on every full moon.
Rajnikanth once bit a vampire. The vampire turned back into human.
Rajnikanth can send an SMS with a telephone.
Rajni once shows his middle finger to his wife...instantly she got pregnent
once rajnikanth took part in 100 m race. Obviously he came first. But after knowing it, einstein instantly died, because light came second.
fabulus
ROFL!! Can't stop laughing....Rajni rockss...
What did Rajni tell the villain: about how he would treat the villain and what the effect would be?
"Once I am done with you, even Google Search won't find you! Mind it!"
the water level on earth is increasing , ....
cuz it was recently found that rajni has diabetes and he pees a lot
Rajinikant never belives in ghosts....they believe him.
If Rajnikanth, then no one else can :D
it rains because rajni beats up the sky nd makes them cry
Once Rajni was fined Rs. 100 by Traffic Police for Overspeeding
.
.
.
.
while walking
atleast Rajni is original unlike people who copy quotes written for Chuck Norris.
But the ones that are original are really good.
Rajnikanth can prove that Sin2θ + cos2θ= sin θ without any assumptions :)
Rajinikanth wrote homework when he was going to school, now it is Wikipedia ! :)
hahahahaahahahahaha
People you know.. NASA is closed.
Reason Rajnikanth bought all the Rockets for diwali
• Rajnikanth has now admitted that he ate the Apple's Logo.
• Film Anaconda was shot in Rajnikanth's pants.
Hey guys
Enough of Rajnikanth jokes, yaaaaaaar. I can't help laughing.. If Rajnikanth cannot kill, his jokes definitely will..!!
once rajni donated his blood to a poor little child and today the child is known as the great khali
once rajni had a fight with dinosaur thats the last time there was a dinosaur
then they became extinct after the fight
Rajini Only The one and only super star no one come across him
once rajni donated his blood to a poor little child and today the child is known as the great khali
SUPERMAN BATMAN HEMAN IRON MAN ALL VISITED RAJNIKANTH ON. GURUPURNIMA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Once Rajnikant participated in a bike race.....don't even guess what happened......
obviously he won the race....that too on neutral gear!!!
rajini zindabad
HA
Just wanted you to have more of Rajinikanth, with this exceptionally humorous blog post, http://deathmail.blogspot.com/2010/10/lo-down.html !! It's really worth a try. Please DO.
Once Rajni gave IIT JEE exam ... IIT was rejected.
Why did rajnikant buy an acre of land with 4 wells in each corner? Coz he wanted to play carrom
once rajnikant saw pamela anderson...
Went behin a huge building and m*sturbated..
Since then the building is named as white house.....
once in a fight rajni got angry and showed d Middle Finger to a lady.The lady got pregnant!.!D
why did rajnikant buy an acre of land with 4 wells in each corner? Coz he wanted to play carrom
my rajnikanth joke is: fever is unwell.....he is suffering from Rajnikanth !
Paul the Octopus died.......Some idiot asked him to predict when Rajanikant would die
The new symbol for Rupee is actually Rajnikant's Signature
Rajni once met Chiranjeevi on the street. Rajni burst into laughter, Chiranjeevi burst into tears, and every passing car burst into flames.
Sun doesn't rise till Rajnikant says "Good morning
Rajnikanth farted...and from then the fart is known as...Rajnigandha.
when rajinikanth writes code it runs without compiling....and bugs solve themselves...
Death once had a near Rajnikant experience...
Rajnikant can show torch light to Sun....
Rajnikant killed the dead sea
rajju can create a solar eclipse
a girl before having sex with her boyfriend asks,"Hamare baby ka nam kya hoga?"
Boy wears his condom and says,"Iske baad bhi hua to Rajnikanth rakhenge!".
9) Rajinikanth Wears Diamond plated-Gold ornaments.
8) Rajinikanth weighs 70kgs in Space.
7) Polar Ice caps melt due to Rajinikanth's Body Heat.
6) Rajinikanth Can Ask an Answer.
5) The character of 'James Bond' is based on Rajinikanth's Childhood.
4) Rajinikanth's terrace is on the ground floor.
3) Rajinikanth Knows the Capital of Hyderabad.
2) The Queen of England was elected by Rajinikanth.
Once Rajnikant participated in a bike race.....don't even guess what happened......
obviously he won the race....that too on reverse gear!!!
(Modified from one of the contributions above)
My stomach is paining laughing damn good :)
Rajani is a superstar in everything... He has superseeded the sardarji jokes and santa&banta...good laughing stuff... watch his movies...your stomuch will blast.
Vijaykumar
u bloody rascals..dont evr try to coment rajni..wat abt ur so cald 'SRK' who rides rickshaw like a jet??ur roshan babu who jumps from a mountaian and next u find him alive??ur bolywood idiots project actress in dirtiest pble way....in most songs v find ur HEROEs madly keep running around trees.defects are in evryone pls dont coment rajni..
One day Rajnikanth bunked school, now its known as Sunday.
rajnikanth can make onions cry
hows that
Rajnikanth can do Loose Motion in Slow Motion
once at ni8 superman,siderman,shaktiman,stoneman,heeman went at rajnis house with a cake.....
...
...
...
...
...
to celebrate FATHERS day
The grass is always greener on Rajinikanth's side.
Rajinikanth shaving blade is made out of titanium.
When Rajinikanth looks into a mirror, the mirror breaks. Even a mirror is not stupid enough to come in between Rajinikanth and Rajinikanth.
Dear Rajinikanth,
There is this task that I'm not able to do. Please HELP!!!
Yours Respectfully,
GOD
Rajinikanth's shadow comes on any side Rajinikanth wants. lights don't affect it.
Rajinikanth's best bowling score - 11 for 0
Best Batting score in one day - 499 not out in 32 overs, and then the opposing team quit.
Its not lightning that strikes, it just Rajini playing with electricity.
Public goes to Supreme Court, Supreme Court comes to Rajinikanth
When Edmund Hillary climbed Mt. Everest, he met Rajinikant, who was sitting up there and enjoying the view.
When Don Bradman made Bradman's XI, the team could beat everyone, obviously except when Rajinikanth was on the opposite team, alone.
रजनीकांत के पैसे पेड़ पर उगते हैं||
Rajinikant NEVER wastes paper; he takes used paper and makes a tree out of it.
Rajinikanth's car doesn't run on gas; its rajini's car it just runs...
The internet is based on a network of servers in many countries and managed by several super servers. Rajini manages the super servers on his mobile.
tell me something what rajni can't do
micheal jordan to rajini- i can spin the ball on my finger for 2 hours can you?
rajini said-rascala,how do you think the earth spins?
Once 1 Email send to Mumbai to Pune : Rajni stopped Email at Khandala(Lonawala) Only.....
What made people his FAN i really can't understand. You can't watch his movie if you have brain and understanding power. I heard people in chennai throw money on screen for his movie. Oh gosh..
Roger Federer : I have each n every knowledge about tenis. U can ask me anything ……………….
Rajni : Kindly tell me, how may holes are there in NET ?
Federer : Fainted..
The Pyramids in Ejypt were not made by Ejyptions... those Pyramids are the Geometry projects of Rajnikant's child age...
Rajnitkanth gave birth to a baby elephant.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Father is Lion!
Rajnikant knows who let the dogs out.
rajni has counted to infinity twice..
Superman once got into a fight with Rajnikanth. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.
Do you know why 75 % of the earth is covered with water that is because "RAJNIKANTS" girlfriend left him and he cried.
Once "Rajnikanth" was doing tricks with the his cigarette and he got a little hurt on his Finger so he blowed and the Tsunami is the cause of that.
Rajinikanth knows how i met your mother
Rajinikanth knows whose line it is anyway
Once Rajnikanth farted,that gas is now known as the ozone layer!;)
Rajnikanth does'nt pays attention , attention pays him indeed!!!
Once Rajnikanth turn his AC on......
don't even think what happened........
Winter comes in INDIA..........
Once a Boy played cricket near RAJINI's home,suddenly the boy broke RAJINI's window.RAJINI came out angrily and scolded the boy and told him to play slowly.Now he is called Rahul Dravid
u idiots, stop joking on Rajanikanth.
if he gets to know'bt this, he will delete the Internet!
Once Rajnikanth was caught bunking......
the principal got expelled
All stupids plz stop commenting about Rajini .... I can also tell hundred stupid movies in Bollywood .... If Shahrukh hits 10 ppl then its stunt and the same if rajini does its a comedy ....
Between 1941 and 1945, 6 million innocent Nazis were systematically murdered in Tamil concentration camps. This event is now called the Rajni-caust.
My stomach is paining laughing damn good :)
when there is a darkness in the room rajnikant use insence stick to light the room.........
stop rajnikant jokes he is a world super star
Vikalp
Ek baar Rajnikanth beedi pee rha tha bachi hui beedi jaha pheki us jagah ko kya kehte hai??
Guess?
guess?
SUN!! :-)
there is nothing rajni can't.
Rajni once ordered Dosa in McDonald's, which was refused. Since then MR. MCDONALDS has been sitting outside his own restaurant!!
Hey dudesons, check out the word kunt in the english dickshonary, it is derived from rajnikunts name...... Lol
Google can search itself in Rajanikanth.............MSR
next upcoming movie.....
RAJNIKANTH VS PREDATOR
next rajni's upcoming movie......
RAJNIKANTH VS PREDATOR
Dear Guys,
When Sachin was out in the finals of World Cup and Rajinikanth was in the gallery. The commentater commented that "Rajinikanth was in the ground. So India can't lose this match". and it happened
Rajini deleted this comment.
All scientists failed to answer this but rajnikanth did...
Ques: Which liquid turns solid on heating?
Ans: Dosa... mind it!!!
One more:
Once upon a time
Rajnikant used Tooth Powder to get strong teeth
Today that powder is known as
"AMBUJA CEMENT"
Rajnikant jokes ..............no limit yaar unlimited entertainment ka funda
once rajnikanth decided to gather his money at him and recount it................ that time was named "recession"
once Rajnikant was driving his car without fuel..since then "HYBRID" technology was invented...
BBC News reported that Mark Zuckerberg has been hospitalised with a serious, life-threatening injury.
Reason: Rajnikanth poked him in Facebook.
Why earthquakes occur frequently in Japan
.
.
Because
.
.Rajanikanth left his mobile phone in vibrate mode by mistake in Japan :p
rajnikanth ek serious or suljhaa huaa superstar hai.... raskal
Super jokes yaar....
Keep it up on..................
Inne rascala mind it :D
Rajni is a Chuppad star
hahaha
HA HA AHA HHA AH AHA AHA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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